Thursday, June 24, 2010

Boring Sports

I really don't hate any sports, I just like to make fun of soccer. I can find entertainment in most things, but soccer is like watching 15 football "three and outs" in a row for 90 minutes. It is entertaining to me though, that no soccer fan needs to ever take a breath from exhaling. The constant sound of the vevezula (sp?) is both hilarious and irritating at the same time.

There is also a vevezula iPhone app, sadly it's not loud enough to be of any use.

I also hate NASCAR, and I regularly rip on it when Reverend or whoever is watching it. Like soccer, the only excitement in NASCAR is about once an event. And in NASCAR, that excitement is a possible life ending car crash. So, yeah NASCAR is about 100x worse than soccer.

Then again, Soccer causes riots and murders amongst the insane fans. For each 8 year old that piledrives his cousin and the WWE has to figure out a way to reword their "don't try this at home" disclaimer, does soccer have to do anything when shit like this happens? No. I don't recall anyone trying to murder fans of a rival NASCAR team.. Or any Browns fans trying to murder any Steelers fans. But I can recall hearing stories about soccer causing Riots. And yes, therefore it's fun to make fun of something that so many people take seriously.

A tangent - Curling is another boring as hell sport, and the only excitement in that sport is finding out if the people who play it got a DUI on their way home from the ice rink or whatever the hell it is they play on. You might be able to argue that there's also no excitement in watching someone play pool, but I actually like pool so I'll watch it. There is zero excitement in watching someone play cards. All things that can be found on ESPN.

So maybe Mike is right and we should just shut up and leave it alone..? Leave the game to those who enjoy it and the rest of us should shut up about it and wait for football season to start? And hey, this thing is only once every four years. Although it is intrusive. I want to watch Sportscenter on my lunchbreak and my only choices are College Baseball or the World Cup. And the World Cup wins, because there's more things moving on the screen. Oh well.

Also, since I like to know things about all sports, regardless of.. anything really, someone explain to me "injury time" in soccer, because: "time added to the end of the game at the referee's discretion." I read as, "If the ref has $1000 on team A, he can add an additional few minutes to see if they cover."


  1. J,

    you havn't asked Mike about the injure time? Its one of those things that they teach you when you take reffing classes. Becuase the clock doesn't stop ever durring the game and penities and injuries take time from game play the 4th ref... the one on the sideline keeps track of the missed playing time to add on to the end.

    As for leaving it alone... a comment here and there isn't terrible and you might find people who agree with you. however I am among the people who would disagree about World Cup and Curling... Curling is freaking sweet... maybe its cause all the stones come from one island, or that its the only other use a man should have with a broom outside of the garage.

    Perhaps its just one of those things where you look at what is going on in the "sport" and then say those people have more skill then I do, and I respect that... unless they are playing Darts they they can just hold their liquor better then I.

  2. I'm gonna pull a Fasig here and argue something because it's not the way I think it should be, regarding a topic I have no real knowledge of:

    Injury time is stupid, they should just stop the clock while someone is hurt. injury time = "make sure the right team gets a chance to win" time.

  3. And I do think a requirement of Curling involves a DUI. Either you have to have proof you got a DUI on the way to the arena, OR you have to get a DUI on the way home or back to your hotel. If you can't prove the post event DUI then your victory becomes null.

  4. injury time is the same thing as stopping the clock at every goal or at every injury. And its not hard to figure out how much time is left, they tell you at the 90 minute mark how much longer it will go. Just always assume a soccer game is 95 minutes long and you'll be okay.
    But i agree, it is a little auspicious that the ref could create more time to help a team win if he wanted too.