Thursday, September 30, 2010


We're not going to boo the Miami Heat because we fear them. We're going to boo you for being an egomaniac, piece of shit who took the easy way out. Go Cavs.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Favorite Story of the week

The Dez Bryant dinner bill is my favorite story this week.

What goes around comes around young fella. Next time rookie, just carry the pads.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Transcript of the Heckert-Reid Phonecall

TOM HECKERT: Andy, we're interested in your Quarterback.

ANDY REID: Vick? No way, he's playing out of his mind right now! He looks like the guy who was drafted #1 out of Virginia Tech! No way we're going to trade you anything for him.

TOM HECKERT: Actually, we're talking about the concussed guy on your bench right now who stunk up the joint in week one. We think he's an improvement over Delhomme and Wallace.

ANDY REID: For your own sake, I'm not going to make this trade.

Misc. Football Stats

The Browns have more Touchdowns the rest of the AFC North, but are in last place with no wins. The Browns have 4 touchdowns and are 0-2. The Steelers have 2 touchdowns and are 2-0.

Phil Dawson is 0-2 so far on field goals, but made all four extra points.

The Colts are in Last Place in the AFC South.

The Chiefs are in First Place in the AFC West.

Kansas City is farther South than Indianapolis.

The Superbowl Contending Cowboys are 0-2 and have been outperformed by The Browns.

The Superbowl Contending Vikings are 0-2 and have been outperformed by The Browns.

The NFC West is on pace for everyone to finish 6-10. We could finally have a 6-10 team in the playoffs.

New England has seven touchdowns. They're in third place. Miami has three touchdowns. They're in first place.

The Browns are currently calling The Eagles about Kevin Kolb.

More Football talk

Its hard to really talk about anything else right now, so here's some more nuggets on football.

Click Here To read what everyone already figured...that the Eagles are taking phone calls for Kevin Kolb and the Browns were probably the first to call.

I guess I would take Kolb and give him a shot. I mean, he's not going to do any better than the QBs we have now because the team around them is so bad. But, maybe he is the Aaron Rodgers type that waited for a few years and now he's ready to throw for 400 yds every week.

Other than this, thinking about the Browns just makes me tired. I'm exhausted watching this stuff and trying to be optimistic for the next week, which in all likely hood will result is more of the same. But who knows, anything can happen. The Defense does look better though, I had a good feeling about Rob Ryan last year, and I think he's going to come through for us. The problem is always that the offense never gives the defense a chance, because they keep turning the ball over and the D is exhausted.

And we can sleep through the Buckeye's game again this week. E Michigan might be better off not showing up.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Browns, take 2

So we've got the Chiefs this week and Seneca Wallace is in at QB. The Chiefs looked decent against San Diego, but I don't recall them doing much of anything on Offense. Their defense looked to be giving San Diego problems. If they were giving San Diego problems, I can only imagine the Browns will be completely lost out there on offense. Our defense could continue to hold up (They really only gave up two big plays last week. One of them was with Tampa Bay starting at Cleveland's 1 Yard line.)

They've gotta keep an eye on Jaamal Charles. Dude is fast.

They've gotta let Jerome Harrison run it more. Harrison said he wants the ball 90% of the game, and I have to agree with that.

Short and sweet with the preview for this week, mainly because I have no idea what to expect. Nor does anyone.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Browns Week 1

Well, the Browns looked like the Browns of old. No, they weren't that bad, but they only played half of a football game. Hopefully this is not a true indicator of this teams perseverance and work ethic. Mangini and Holmgren are better than this, and I do believe in the next few weeks you'll see a cleaner game and a more well coached team.

A couple notes:
  • Delhomme (don't call me Del - Hommi) played better than most QBs we've seen in the past. I guess we're going to have to get used to the Brett Favre mentality of "I can make that ball fit in between those three defenders". I think the coaches will coach him down off that.
  • I believe the first to be true because I think Mangini will committ much more to the run game and short passing game in week 2. I don't think KC has the DLine that Tampa has, or the defense as a whole.
  • Harrison will be itching to keep running, and should get the chance if Hillis fumbles again.
  • But i like the combo of Hillis and Harrison if used right. I think the play calling in the 2nd half was bad and didn't capitalize on that great running combo.
  • The Defense looked good. They truly only gave up 10 points...the TD after the Interception will count against them, but shouldn't. The secondary was improved, all be it against a bad QB, but improved nonetheless.
  • King Kong Bernard (don't call me Marcus) will live up to his name this year.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Ben Roethlisberger

Ben Roethlisberger is a rapist and a black eye on the NFL. What he did is worse than taking PEDs. He raped some drunk girl in a bathroom while his bodyguards watched the door. That's worse than steroids. Now is it possible this girl was into it until she realized what was going on? Yes. Is it possible this girl was some drunk whore at the bar who throws herself at guys weekly? Yes.

Ok, now having this said, he shouldn't be suspended. He's a piece of garbage and a crappy person, but he shouldn't have his job taken away as a result. If you get in a fight at a bar (or rape someone) should you lose your job and have to find a new one? Or get suspended? No. So why is the NFL different? Because it's a very, very public image. He still shouldn't be suspended.

Here's what I propose. Each week, whoever is commentating the Steelers game, should have to remind the audience that Roethlisberger had sex with a woman in a bar restroom, and that rape is bad. No suspension, instead, for the rest of the season, the commentators refer to him as Ben Roethlisberger, accused of rape.


Cris Collinsworth: "Ben Roethlisberger, accused of rape, throws for Santon...Hines Ward, Incomplete. Maybe Roethlisberger should've worked more on his accuracy instead of raping a woman in a bar restroom."
Al Michaels: "Let me remind everyone that rape is a terrible thing and you people out there should learn from this meathead not to hold a woman down against her will, no matter what the scenario may be."


Joe Buck: "Roethlisberger, rapist, throws... incomplete."


Gus Johnson: "Roethlisberger, rapist, under pressure. He gets away! To THROWWWWAHAHHHHH, PICKED OFF!!!! Eric Wright, DOWN THE SIDELINE, Roethlisberger, headed for the girl in the front row. Roethisberger has his HAND ON HER BOOB! HE'S RAPING HER!! LIVE!!! HAAH HAAAAAAH!!!! ROETHLISBERGER!! PENALTY ON THE FIELD!!! ILLEGAL USE OF THE HANDS!! WHAT A GAME!!!"

Catching Up

Browns vs. Lions
Jake Delhomme continues to impress in the pre-season. The obvious statement is that if this continues to the regular season, Mike Holmgren is a genius. If Jake Delhomme is impressive this year, hopefully he starts next year, and the year after that, and it turns into a Brett Favre situation, where when we finally kick him out, Colt McCoy walks onto the field and starts throwing Touchdowns. At least until we play against the Delhomme-led Vikings, who will then be replacing Brett Favre.

Browns vs Bears
Colt McCoy gets the stage tonight. Hopefully he has more than Jake Allen and Alex Smith to work with on the receiving end. And with Montario Hardesty in there, maybe he can show us something. Colt has been unimpressive so far, but he's had no help. When your first option is Jake Allen and the second is Carlton Mitchell, what can you expect? We might get a better idea of what he can do.

Wanna see something funny?

Rank Player Comp Att % TD INT
1 Jake Delhomme 38 48 79.2 2 0
2 Tom Brady 33 42 78.6 4 0
3 Aaron Rodgers 41 53 77.4 6 0

We have the most accurate passer of the Preseason.

Jim Brown. Whatever. Mike said enough. I'll reiterate. You've been an advisor to Randy Lerner. Unless he's never listened to a word you said, I think you've done a terrible job advising him. Were you part of the Couch over McNabb decision? Gerrard Warren over Ladanian Tomlinson? Courtney Brown over anyone? Whatever. Now the kids just know you as the Sphinx guy from "Mars Attacks!"

Madden 11 officially sucks. I figured for sure that Backbreaker would at least give it a little bit of a kick in the ass, but no. Each year, all the same problems remain, all the same stupid things remain. Every year, they come up with some new marketing term. Last year it was, "If you see it on Sunday, you'll see it in Madden." This year, it's "Locomotion", and "More Time on the Field."

I don't have time for "More Time on the Field." Why? Because I don't want to set up any schemes. I want to pick my play (I know where the plays I like are, at least I did until you changed all the playbooks around) and go. I don't want to set up a section of plays I want available on third and short. I don't care. FIX IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST, then waste time on crap like this.

For the third year in a row, if a player gets hurt, you can put him on IR. BUT, in Madden, this doesn't free up a roster spot. Three years in a row, putting a player on IR does NOT free up a roster spot. Three years in a row, a measly running back can block the DT coming in at full speed with no problem. Three years in a row, the swat and tackle DB animations merge. Five years in a row, suction blocking - A defender running at full speed would NEVER do a 180 to engage in a block with a lineman who was BEHIND him. NEVER. For the third year in a row, they've changed the pre-snap controls. It now takes longer to define a hot route. It used to take one step to move your D-Line to the left, it now takes three steps. The game is pathetic. The same five tackles happen over and over, and they're the same tackles from the last three years.

After playing about a week of Madden, I went back to Backbreaker, and WOW, I appreciate this game even more now. The multiple person tackles, all unique, never the same tackle twice. The giant pile of bodies at the line of scrimmage, not just players sucked into blocking animations. When something negative happens in Backbreaker, I feel like it's because I made a mistake, not because the computer cheated me out of a play. I'll post some video comparisons so more people can see how completely superior Backbreaker is in terms of gameplay.

Alright, back to work.