Wednesday, June 1, 2011

LeBron's Mom

On behalf of all of Cleveland, I would like to break the news story that LeBron's mom hooked up with Dwyane Wade. Not only did she hook up with Wade, but she also quickly found herself in a situation where she was (willingly) being Eiffel-Towered by Wade and Miami Heat Forward Chris Bosh.

Soon after Mario Chalmers and Udonis Haslem entered the scene, and they all proceeded to "Run the Train" on King James' mom. Chalmers then started simply "directing traffic" out there, telling who to do what.

Mike Bibby showed up late to the party, but quickly meshed well into the mix. It was an all out gang bang on LeBron's mom.

Then, Ben Roethlisberger, who was partying in the area, got wind of this and attempted to join the party. Repulsed by "Big Ben", Gloria refused. Roethlisberger then proceeded to have his way with Gloria, as someone saying "no!" has never stopped him in the past.

Zydrunas Ilgouskas was quoted but we have no idea what he said, except for the part where he thanked Cleveland for all the memories and asked if Antawn Jamison was worth it.

More on this story as it develops.