Monday, April 2, 2012


I'm a little torn on this show, but overall was happy with it.. First post in a while here on the blog, why not it be about Wrestlemania?

Show started with Daniel Bryan defending the World Heavyweight Title against Sheamus. I hate Sheamus. He's a worthless wrestler. He's an awful character. There's absolutely nothing good about him and I feel like he's positioned to become another Randy Orton.. (The guy who accomplished absolutely nothing other than management saying: "You're going to be our new guy.") Sheamus won the Royal Rumble and picked Bryan as his Wrestlemania opponent. I rule I've become to hate, because you shouldn't create feuds for Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania should be the culmination of a feud.... Anyways. The crowd boos Sheamus during his intro (rightfully so) and then cheers Daniel Bryan. Half the crowd is screaming "YES!" over and over (Daniel Bryan's catchphrase of sorts) and have "YES!" signs in the crowd.

Front row: 10 people, each with a sign that says "YES!". And then, the WWE decides to have Sheamus win with one kick to the head. Match was 18 seconds long. Sheamus beats Daniel Bryan to no reaction from the crowd, just a bunch of people who couldn't believe what they just saw. The WWE now looks like ASSHOLES. They've deflated the crowd. The crowd no longer gives a shit. We're 2 minutes into WRESTLEMANIA and suddenly no one gives a shit anymore and we all hate this show. Negative Five Stars.

Second Match: Randy Orton versus Kane. This match was absolutely terrible and boring as we would all expect. Then Kane, the villain, wins clean. This will naturally set up Orton v Kane, Anything Goes next month and we'll get to watch this awful match all over again. This match was 10 minutes long and the only thing I remember was an 8 minute headlock before Kane won with a chokeslam off the top rope. Zero Stars. Match was boring as hell and made me start to drink.

Third Match: Big Show challenges Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Title. Another stupid, pointless match. This was another feud where which happened AFTER the match was announced. Show wins the Intercontinental Title clean; I don't even remember how. Another zero star match where nothing happened.

Fourth Match: The Divas Tag. I didn't watch any of this. I did other things.

Fifth Match: Hell in a Cell, Undertaker versus HHH. This match, looking back on it, was a war. It started with Taker in control, then HHH got the upperhand, then Taker came back and won. Taker started off strong, then HHH got the advantage, leading to a similar battle like last year's match. HHH just kept hammering Taker and couldn't keep him down. Shawn was pleading with him to stop the fight, everything. Taker kept getting up. Then Taker made the comeback he never made last year. The two matches played off each other perfectly. The Hell in a Cell wasn't really a factor, but it's always a nice visual. Aside from one Superkick from Shawn (because he just wanted the match ended, for both competitors' sakes..) He was completely impartial. When Taker made the comeback he never made a year ago, it was fantastic. It was HHH absolutely being pummeled into jello. Then Taker smashed him with his own sledgehammer and tombstoned him for the win. It was a fantastic match and I'll give it Four and a half stars. Initially, I said that last year's match was better, but it wasn't. This year's was better, but only because of last year's match. Taker got his revenge and destroyed The Game.

They all walked out together and hugged, this could be an unofficial retirement match for all three involved..

Sixth Match: The 12 man tag. How can you screw up a 12 man tag? No flow, no anarchy, no anything. Match was boring as hell. Then Zack Ryder FINALLY got involved and then just lost to the Miz. Match was awful. Everyone in it was awful. Completely pointless. Zero stars.

Seventh Match: WWE Championship, CM Punk defending against Chris Jericho. Very slow start to this one, then it picked up nicely. Just a good solid match, but I felt like they could've done more. I'll give it Four Stars. CM Punk winning assures me that he's around to stay as a top guy. He's quickly getting on the WWE's imaginary ranks of Cena and Orton levels. But CM Punk actually deserves his spot. He wasn't just picked. I don't know what is next for Jericho unless they do a rematch next month. Or maybe this was it for Jericho and he's going back to his band?

Eighth Match: John Cena versus The Rock. This match was great, except for Cena's odd choice of using a bear hug multiple times. Other than that, absolutely fantastic. Energy was off the charts, Cena was boo'ed out of the building. Rock was cheered like a hero. They were in Miami, so that's no shock. Rock actually won this match. Which was insanely shocking. Had Cena won, they would've needed that Brock Lesnar run in to save things. But he didn't, Rock did. Great match, great sequences, great effort. Rock hasn't lost a step. He had that warm up match back in November, but never really needed to get going in that one. Here, he had the spotlight and didn't disappoint. Four and a half stars, easily.

So - I'm torn on this show, because the top four matches... one of them wasn't a match and the other three kicked ass. So what was really hyped delivered.. and the rest was complete garbage. But with three fantastic matches... Let's see how that stacks up against the rest of the Wrestlemania's:

1: no good matches. (0)
2: one decent tag team match. (0)
3: biggest match ever, but awful; possible best match ever.. (1)
4: no good matches, long and boring (0)
5: long and boring, one great main event (1)
6: long and boring, one great main event (1)
7: great main event; then possible best match ever.. (2)
8: two great matches...(2)
9: nothing
10: two of the best matches ever, otherwise garbage (2)
11: nothing at all, then the best celeb match ever.. (1?)
12: boring or stupid from start to finish, (yes, including the Ironman match...) (0)
13: garbage and then one of the best matches ever (1)
14: overall a fun show, but nothing spectacular... Good main event (1)
15: garbage, and a good main event (1)
16: two good undercard matches, otherwise crap.. (2 barely)
17: probably the best WWE show ever: (vince v shane in a fun match; THE TLC match you remember; HHH v Taker in an all out brawl; angle v benoit in a masterpiece; and a possible best match ever with austin v rock) (5)
18: lots of average matches and then rock v hogan (1)
19: another good show (austin v rock; booker v hhh; hardy v mysterio; angle v lesnar; jericho v shawn) (5, but less important matches)
20: around three good matches, surrounded by crap. (3)
21: crap. crap. crap. and michaels v angle in one of the best matches ever (1)
22: long and forgettable. good cena v hhh main event (1)
23: long and forgettable. I think this was the donald trump show.. good main event(1)
24: edge v taker and nothing else i remember (1)
25: lots of nothing, an awful kid rock concert, and then possibly the best match ever with shawn v taker.. (1)
26: a very well planned wrestlemania.. (edge v jericho; cena v batista; shawn v taker) and a bunch of other average matches.. nothing terrible. (3)
27: this is the worst wrestlemania of all time. the main events were edge v del rio; cena v miz; and hhh v taker. HHH v taker was great, everything else was complete garbage. iron sheik f's this show and makes it humble. (1)
28: (cena v rock; jericho v punk; hhh v taker) (3)..

So..this was actually one of the better ones. Even with the horrendous start. This actually makes (wrestling-wise) 17 the best, followed by 19, then 20, 26, and 28. Dare I say this was the fifth best Wrestlemania ever, strictly by the good match count?

I'm somewhat shocked I came to this conclusion.

Good show, WWE. But F you for the Daniel Bryan match. Two years in a row.

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