WWE vs UFC

The most promising talent the WWE has had fall into their hands in the past five years, Bryan Danielson (on screen, Daniel Bryan) was fired. He was fired because during a scene where his group goes crazy and attacks John Cena, his opponent, and everyone at ringside, he choked out the timekeeper with his own tie. Not for real, it was just part of the scene. But I guess he adlibbed it to make the moment more crazy.

One week later, 85 year old Bret Hart is put in the back of a limousine, and the driver repeatedly slams the back of the limo into various other cars in the parking lot, intentionally.

So what the WWE is telling me is - it's not okay to choke someone for five seconds with their own necktie, but it is okay to throw someone in the back of a limo, and back it into things at high speeds.

This may sound cruel, but I hope that some kid takes their parent's (single parent) car and starts crashing into things, and tells the judge that he saw it on WWE programming, so that we can just put this piece of sh*t company out of its misery, because this is pathetic.

The WWE's top guys are John Cena, who is like the kid-friendly version of Steve Austin. Randy Orton, who has no character. Jack Swagger, who is the crappy version of Kurt Angle. The Big Show, who overall has probably been the worst pro-wrestler of the past 20 years (but a hilarious character and actor). Sheamus, an Irish stereotype. The Miz (from Parma) who's character is to be annoying. Then there are the immortal ones; Undertaker, Edge, Rey Mysterio, Kane. And I've lost track of who hates who, because the next big event is designed around two championship matches, and each match features four guys all fighting each other. Whatever. Then there are the WWE guys who show promise - The Harts, Evan Bourne, Bryan Danie... wait, scratch that last one. He choked someone with a necktie and got fired.

I guess there's some unwritten rule in the WWE that you dont find out about until you're fired: Since Chris Benoit did the diving headbutt for 15 years and while suffering from concussions and while taking repeated chairshots to the head went crazy one day and killed his whole family, you're not allowed to choke someone for five seconds with their own necktie. It's okay to put them in the back of a limo though and slam into other cars.

MEANWHILE, over in the UFC. I actually bought my first UFC show since about ufc43, because we didn't want to go to the bar for 5 hours. Chuck Liddell and Rich Franklin. I think Liddell's in the UFC hall of fame, and Franklin will be there one day. Liddell and Franklin were in the main event, and they had a furious one round fight that ended with Liddell getting knocked out cold by a Franklin uppercut. Liddell just dropped, then Franklin landed a few shots while Liddell was on his way down. What's insane is that about 30 seconds into the round, Liddell threw some vicious kicks that Franklin blocked, and while blocking he broke his left arm. So this crazy bastard did another four minutes, thirty seconds (Liddell was literally knocked out with about 3 seconds left in the round) with a broken arm. That's wild. The build up to this was Liddell coming back, training harder, getting in the best shape of his career, and wanting to prove that he could still go. While Franklin, coming off a loss, wants to get back into the UFC Title hunt, because he wants to prove he's the best.

Mirko Cro Cop, age 76 took on the much younger Pat Berry, who is apparently the biggest Cro Cop fan in the world and the fight was a dream for him. Had Berry not shown a ridiculous amount of respect for Cro Cop in the first round, he may have won, but that was not the case. Berry won the first round, but then that woke up Cro Cop who came back and had an awesome fight. One of the year's best so far. Cro Cop landed about 10 punches in a row, dropped Berry, then landed another 643 punches on the ground, but none were putting Berry out. Cro Cop then just switched positions and choked Berry out. Awesome fight. The build up here was Pat Berry ("I don't hit hard, I hit scary.") wanting to fight someone he looked up to his whole career, and take his place in the Heavyweight division. While Cro Cop wasn't looking to go anywhere, and certainly wasn't looking to go down to a younger Berry.

So.. WWE? Sh*tty characters, crappy wrestlers, boring storylines with no payoff. UFC? Real characters, talented fighters, simple, real storylines with a payoff. No wonder the WWE is getting CRUSHED right now by the UFC.

And a lot of WWE fans think the UFC fans are all new haircut, affliction-wearing douchebags. A lot of them are, yes. But remember, most WWE fans are just.. stupid.

UFC 113 Thoughts

Overall a good show. Patrick Cote made a return after a long injury recovery process, and got choked out by Alan Belcher. This choke out came after the first piledriver/pedegree move I've seen in a long time. Belcher calls out Anderson Silva afterwords and says he's the man who can beat him. I dont think anyone can beat Anderson Silva right now, but I'd love to see his first competitive fight so.. Silva fights Chael Sonnen next, which could be it.

Matt Mitrione, former NFL player, absolutely dominated Kimbo Slice (released from the UFC after the fight) and won by stoppage in the 2nd. Kimbo may have a broken leg and a broken arm after the fight, which was stopped, he never submitted. Mitrione just kept throwing punches and Kimbo didn't know what to do after his two bodyslams didn't work at the beginning.

Jeremy Stephens and Sam Stout had a crazy shootout, each just throwing punch after punch. It went all the way to the judges, they called it for Stephens in a split decision.

Josh Koscheck dominated Paul Daley for all three rounds, and after the third round was over, Paul Daley threw a sucker punch when 99% of the fighters handshake or hug afterwords. The referee immediate threw Daley off and had him pinned up against the cage and was yelling. Daley was released from the UFC almost immediately after. Dana White said something along the lines of "I dont care how good he is anywhere, he's never fighting in the UFC again."

And in about a minute and a half, Shogun knocked Machida out cold and F'd up his eye to become the new UFC Light Heavyweight Champion. These two had a five round fight last year and everyone thought Shogun would take the decision, but then Machida won the decision. Everyone immediately said Instant Rematch, and the two fighters promised it wouldn't go to the judges this time. They were absolutely right. Shogun just exploded and got him on the ground and started throwing fists.

Final Tallys:

Good Fights - 4
Bad Fights - 0
Mediocre Fights - 2
Accidental Nut Shots - 2
Piledrivers - 1
UFC Firings - 2

Anderson Silva is too good

He's bored. He's bored out of his mind with the UFC right now. That's my best guess. Last Sunday, in a fight he could have seemingly ended at any time he wanted, he let it go all the way the five round distance. The entire first two rounds, he begged Maia to attack him, and Maia wouldn't do it. Maia looked scared out of his mind fighting against Silva.

Silva doesn't seem to want to attack, he just wants to make you look stupid. And Maia didn't let him make him look stupid, (just very outmatched) so there was no fight. Silva needs an opponent who will attack him, or Dana White needs to throw him out because he's a dick. Which no one wants to see happen, and if they say they do they're lying.

Silva wanted Maia to attack so that Silva could just make him look like an idiot (like he did with Forrest Griffin and everyone else he's fought) and Maia never attacked. And when he did attack, Silva just shrugged him off instead of his usual quick beatdown for the win.

Silva desperately wants an opponent who can hang with him out there. George St Pierre will be that guy, but that's going to involve a weight class change for one of the two, and that never really has pretty results. At UFC 112, Silva was supposed to fight Vitor Belfort, who can throw roughly (and honestly) 5 punches a second, all solid and all connecting right on the mark. This could've been the best fight in years.. but Belfort needed surgery on his shoulder and we can only hope he's still as fast when he comes back. Belfort would've attacked. But Silva would've probably just made him look stupid.

Hopefully GSP attacks.


Here is Silva, destroying Rich Franklin's face.